We have been here only three months. I came from Bogotá, where I lived with my two kids. My son is 8 and my daughter is 7. I am 38. I really miss them, but they will come to Barcelona very soon. The first reason I stay here is I am a little crazy person. We came here because we had another trip with another musician to play in Norway with a government scholarship. I loved Norway because it was so organized, and life is much better. We played there, but it is more difficult because we don’t have the language or the way to be legal.

13:20. I’m from Mérida, far from Caracas in Venezuela. My dad was a huge music fan and Gaita enthusiast. Gaita is a Venezuelan music and rhythm. My mom like rock and roll. The Eagles, Beatles, Rolling Stones. Everybody plays music naturally in Venezuela. All the children learn music with Sistema Nacional de Orchestras. All the children get instruments. This project has support from every government for the last 40 years. It’s a perfect project.

I studied voice in a music program of a university. I started to learn music in another academy that was very important for traditional music of Colombia, but this place doesn’t give a formal music degree. I applied three times for the university and finally they take me. Actually, I was very shy when I was young. I loved to sing but I always sing in my room very quietly. My mother and father never knew that I sung. In one opportunity when I was in 9th grade, there was a festival in the school. I don’t know what happened with me, and I say, “I want to sing.” And I sing, and I win this competition. And when I come home and told my parents, they were so surprised, but they love the music. They listen to classical music and Edith Piaf. My parents are very unique with music. When they know that I love to sing, they supported me. My family doesn’t have any money, but they support me. In this time, I start to learn in a community music group to sing rock music, like Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd.

I first studied in the university in Mérida to be an accountant, but I didn’t finish. I did it for security, but I wasted this time. Then, I moved to Caracas. I was 20. I told my dad, “I’m going to Caracas to play music for a week and will come back in one week.” I know I’m not coming back, but I didn’t say to my family this. I found an opportunity to study music at another University in Caracas. In the next week, I started working in a cultural club very similar to this place we stay in Barcelona, L’Occulta. It is called La Patana. It is a culture pub started from my friends from Mérida. In this moment, they say, “You can work and play in this place.” I play with other musicians and my friend Samuel. It was a very open place. We work, eat a pizza, play music. It was a great experience.

I studied jazz. I wanted a more formal music education. This was my second university. I studied three years as a jazz guitar player. I like studying to improve, but I was terrible to study in morning! I stopped the university because I started to play in a big bad project with Sistema Nacional de Orchestra with a master saxophone player Pablo, who needed a guitar player. He helped me in all circumstances with music and outside music. He was very strict. I liked this way sometimes. I improved so much. We rehearse all day every day. I can’t go to the university. In this moment, I had to stop my work at La Patana, too. I have no time to work, either. We traveled and played in some cities in Venezuela. I was very young, without job, without university. I only play jazz all day. It was great. I worked like an assistant for my teacher recording things, arranging things until I come to Colombia.

We met a year and a half ago, and we have played together for just one year. My best friend knows James, so one night we met each other. I drink a beer and we talk about the music. I told him that I have a Cumbia that I wrote. I showed him and after some days, he returned the Cumbia and made something with the guitars and arranged the song. I hear it and I say, “Wow! Really good. This guy is really good.” In this moment I have a concert, and my partner can’t play. I need a musician and I remember James. I call him, and we have just a few minutes to practice before the show and in the show I call out the chords, “This is Em chord. This is the rhythm. Ok. Let’s go.” It was very beautiful.

When I live in Venezuela, in the last years 2017, 2018, many many people leave Venezuela because of political and economic situation began to get more difficult. In Caracas, I played in great theater rooms, great stages with great musicians. I built an established music career. But in one moment, all the people started to leave Venezuela. It was a very strange feeling. I don’t know how to explain this feeling. It is difficult to explain how it feels when the people around me start to leave. Everybody started leaving. It was a collective sensation of exhaustion and depression. The whole country with this feeling.

Also we started to have the problem of not enough food. Many people started losing weight from no food. People look different physically. This was a strong problem for my family and me, too. I traveled to visit my family in Mérida, and they looked like different people. I viewed myself in the mirror and said, “Wow, me too.” My face is very thin. Each day prices go up and up. However, I had some freelance work online, but this wasn’t common for most people. In this atmosphere, I considered to go also. Many people call to me to play in some clubs, but it’s mostly because there are no more musicians, not just because I’m a good musician. I know my playing is good, but also in Venezuela there used to be great guitar players. I think in this moment, “Staying here will be ok, and I want to work in these places.” I think nobody should leave. Why? In this mental dynamic to stay in Venezuela it was difficult. It started that people paid with trading products. For example, “Can you play for my birthday, and I will trade coffee or eggs?” Because cash was so difficult in Venezuela. Overall, my emotional state staying in my home was very anxious because in Venezuela there was no electricity for 8 hours. No internet. I can’t work all the time. But it was also difficult because of my dog! A beautiful dog, Renzo!

Then there was a window to leave. There was no music work at all. I made a jingle for a Columbian enterprise, but I didn’t have a way to receive payment because all the banks were closed in Venezuela. So I went to the border, which is not far, and then from there to Bogotá. It’s very ironic that I leave Venezuela because it is a country of immigrants! Many people are descendants of Italians or Lebanese.

In my case, I left Venezuela in 2018 to go to Colombia and play guitar and sing with a friend in the busses in Bogotá. There is no subway! I felt totally different in Colombia. In general, the Latin American cultures don’t have the resources to accept immigrants. In Bogotá, there is no order. We don’t have a system. Many many people play for money there. Many many Venezuelans and many many Venezuelan musicians without papers, without documents. It’s very hard. There are so many people in the busses selling something, not just musicians. In Colombia this is a big problem. But the economy is so bad, I have to play all day to survive. In Bogotá in a formal way, like festivals and concerts, it is very difficult, too. It’s very difficult to live your life from music. We can’t live just with music there.

Fortunately, I always work with the music in different areas. First of all, I play in the TransMilenio, the busses, because I didn’t know anyone. It is emotionally very difficult, but it was a very nice experience for me, the first time I play in the bus. I learned the sensibility of the art with the direct contact with the people. This interaction is a bridge for sensibility. This interaction with the real life is very important. It’s very different than studying and playing in academic situation. My singing improved. It’s a training in a crowded bus. I also learned to play the Quattro better because it is smaller than a guitar! I never play music alone. Always with a friend. It’s more comfortable to play with other people. The logistics is very difficult. Someone can talk to the people and collect the money and I can handle the amplifier.

The most important for me is the music is powerful. This is the first lesson. I will not die if I have music.

So, I play music in the bus, and I did the Glovo, too, delivering food during Covid. I work freelance writing music, arranging music, for different instruments and different formats. I find freelance work on Upwork online.(31:11). It was very comfortable for me. I try to work with the music and not only play. I think really the music makes all the things possible. The most important for the music is to stay with it in multiple ways. I believe it opens many doors. (33:01). In Colombia, I have to worry so much in many ways. With the music, I learn how to work in other things like music production and other jobs. I started with a Spanish enterprise that sells personalized songs. It is called Canciona. It’s a great experience, and it’s very popular in Spain. I learned many things about music production, music equipment, and mixing from this online job.

We met a year and a half ago, and we have played together for just one year. My best friend knows James, so one night we met each other. I drink a beer and we talk about the music. I told him that I have a Cumbia that I wrote. I showed him and after some days, he returned the Cumbia and made something with the guitars and arranged the song. I hear it and I say, “Wow! Really good. This guy is really good.” In this moment I have a concert, and my partner can’t play. I need a musician and I remember James. I call him, and we have just a few minutes to practice before the show and in the show I call out the chords, “This is Em chord. This is the rhythm. Ok. Let’s go.” It was very beautiful

In Colombia, the musical moment was difficult for me. In Venezuela, I tried to study jazz, but I know other music. But I don’t want to only play jazz. For me it was very difficult. In Colombia, I can see that I need to be able to play the music that I like. I am like a percussionist with my guitar with my fingers. I need to play like this. This is not jazz in New York. I’m not from New York. It’s not me. I am from Venezuela. I have to play Latin jazz. It’s in my blood. This is my musical language. I think about this a lot to play the music the way I need to play music. From this point, I have much more confidence. When I start this personal search to play the music I like and Victoria likes, my musical life changed.

In my house in my last days in Colombia, I tried to make video sessions with my closest friends, like Victoria. We recorded many songs with my arrangements. We call this “En el atillo”. “In the attic” or “In the loft.” You can see some online.

We came here because we had another trip with another musician to play in Norway with a government scholarship. I loved Norway because it was so organized, and life is much better. We played there, but it is more difficult because we don’t have the language or the way to be legal. We finished the tour in Barcelona. Our friend went back, and we stayed. I didn’t think to stay here, but when I came to Europe, I think about it. Spain is maybe easier to get the residency and I have a few friends. In the airport we waved goodbye. We had a ticket to home, but we stayed here. Also, I think the last 3 years my situation, my economic situation, was not the best. I think in this moment I need to break with my country because I don’t feel the country give me all the necessaries. The music is good because of course I know the music of my country, but I needed a pause. I feel stagnant.

In my house before I left, I think, “Maybe Barcelona. Maybe I won’t come back.” A week before our trip to Europe in Colombia, I had a lot of shows in the most important festival of rock music in Latin America called Rock al Parque. It was really motivational. When I review the time in 6 years in Bogotá and wow, I will play in Rock al Parque. Wow! Then, other musicians invite me to play with them, to record and other invitations. And then, I traveled to Norway. Incredible. Music is my lord.

The music really really is my lord, too! In this moment I learn that music makes the way, the right way. You always find the people, and the situation or the context helps you. I think if I follow the music, the music follows me.

We play only in subway here because we don’t have the permission for the street. We tried but didn’t get it. But of course, I like to play in the subway. This is a great experience for me because before playing here in Barcelona, I play in Bogotá many years in shows, in theaters and many places. In Bogotá, we don’t have a subway, but many people play in the busses. I always thought to play in the busses is the best form to make music. You need this experience to know what is the meaning about this because it is not only about playing for the money. In this moment I learn this. I play in this moment here because I need the money, but I know I need to understand what is the meaning to play to survive with joy. I learn to restructure my mind. I’m very grateful for this. You always think the money is the pay people give, but not always. Sometimes they give a smile, and this is enough. Many days are difficult, and sometimes I think about my kids who are not here yet, but sometimes the people with a smile or sometimes with a clap in the subway is enough. One day a girl hug me because she told us, “Oh, you are so great; you are so awesome. You make me feel the love,” and she cried. It was beautiful, so in this moment I understand this is the case of the life and if I enjoy that, I gain more.

Barcelona is much more enjoyable to play in the subway compared to the bus in Colombia. In Colombia you have to work all day for less money than here. You should work more than 4 or 5 hours a day. In Barcelona the subway is my office. Comparatively, it’s an office! We have an organization with other musicians to use the subway here in Barcelona. In Colombia it’s more hostile.

I think the most important thing about singing in the subway is when I start to talk with the people before I sing, you never know what you need to say. Sometimes I think, just be honest. No more. How do I feel today? Sometimes I feel like shit, so I share with the people, “Ok, today or other days you might not feel good, but we are here and it’s a miracle. I am a miracle. You are a miracle. I want to enjoy this day, so please enjoy this day too.” Sometimes I need to say this to myself and to the people. I need motivation to start to sing. I need to change my mind, my emotion, my disposition. Sometimes the goal is not to feel happiness. Sometimes I need to feel sad, so I want to sing a song very sad. So, I enjoy the sad song, too. The point for me is enjoy whatever emotion you feel in this moment, but with all the power you have in you. Last Saturday one friend came and asked me what kind of music I make. And he respond to himself and told me, “It’s like a spiritual because you want the people to feel comfortable because I feel peaceful.” I told him, “I don’t know. If you feel that, really good.”

We have a list of the songs for the subway, and some days we try to test what songs people receive good. Some songs are very beautiful, but when we go to the subway, maybe it’s not the context and the people don’t respond. Other songs I think won’t work in the subway, but the people love it and it works. We never know. Sometimes I can smell or see what is the feeling in the subway car. But not all days work. Sometimes in one train car maybe 4 or 5 people clap and sing and dance and give no coins, but the people enjoy and this is the pay. And sometimes people are on the phone and we think people are not listening, but then they give a smile or a coin. We never know. It’s very special.

I have only one thing that I only know: all children always are honest. If they don’t like, they make an angry face. I enjoy this in the subway because I can play a game with them. There is a possibility to change their faces because I love to play games with the kids. With the time, it slowly changes. And of course, it is very spontaneous with the kids. When I start to sing, they might be surprised, or they may dance. It’s very honest, so I enjoy when there are kids in the subway because they tell me the truth. The kids know only the present. They don’t know what is the past or what is the future. It’s very beautiful. It’s another lesson to learn.

I don’t want to go back to Colombia soon. I need to make my papers legal. It is not easy, but I want to think it is possible. Maybe I need a Catalan guy to marry me! Other options are very difficult. I am an artist, and it’s difficult to make art in my country and to get money from only making music. Of course, I teach music in many places, private lessons, children, adults. And I was teaching in the public school a little time, but I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to teach in the school anymore. I don’t like the education in my country. These classes are for many many children, and you can’t do your work well. The children don’t have the instruments or other problems in their life, they are hungry, they are thinking about breakfast. I don’t have the soul for that. There are people for this, but not me. I quit the public school job. I want to make this world better, but I have other ways. My purpose with the music is to make my songs and sing my songs and travel with my songs and enjoy with the music and with my kids of course. I think there is the possibility to do this with my kids. Why not? In this point, I think the most important for me of course are my children, but it’s my dream too. It is difficult to make money from music, but I think if you have a happy mother, maybe you have a good life. They have a father. He does his job, too. He is a singer, too. The last year he came to Europe for 7 months, and I was with my kids. Sometimes my daughter says, “Mom, please play with me.” Sometimes I say, “I can’t. I have important things to do.” But in this moment with this break here in Barcelona I am feeling, “Oh my gosh, I am losing this time. Probably in the future I have to enjoy this time when my daughter asks. This break in Spain makes me think about it. This is good.

Part of my family now is this little orangutan doll Pepe. Pepe is an extension of me. I found him on the street. And I told my kids I have a surprise. And they say, “What is it?! What is it?!” And then in this moment appears this little monkey. And they say, “What is your name?” And I say, “I don’t know. I don’t have a name.” They say, “Oh, no. You have to have a name!” And I suddenly remember a song I love called Pepe. So, he is Pepe. And Pepe has more better qualities to communicate with my kids. When they talk with me, it’s different to talking to Pepe. Pepe is very funny, and he is Catalan, so the talk is very funny, too. I talk with this Catalan accent with Pepe, so my kids enjoy that. I discovered this way and I know what is the value to play and make ways to communicate with our kids. And now more because it is on the phone. We don’t have real contact, but I have Pepe and Pepe makes our relation closer. My daughter is the younger one, and she loves the imagination possibility, and she can do this with Pepe. When I call them, they say, “Please mom, I want to talk with Pepe. Where is Pepe? I need to talk through Pepe because mom is not fun!” They say more things to Pepe than they say to me. Sometimes they say something to Pepe and I say, “Oh my gosh. I didn’t know that. Why did you tell Pepe and not me!” It’s very beautiful. I am learning about my kids and how I can communicate with them in a different way. They are very excited to come.

I like Barcelona. I love to travel and Barcelona has something special about the context of artists.  When I start to sing in Barcelona, I feel my dreams can become true in this country. I think this country is very special. Here I feel it’s a special city, and this city hugged me very close and very kind in a short time. Three months and we can work and send the money to my children, and this space is special and made good friends. I think I can make my dreams come true. I have in my mind my future, and I take this pause with my heart and soul. I think sometimes I judge about this, but I don’t have to change this dream.

I feel more comfortable in my life in Barcelona, too. In Barcelona I don’t know many people, but musically I’m excited with this place. I feel inspired. There are many more possibilities here. I like Barcelona when I play in the subway and meet other musicians here.

It’s difficult because I don’t have my electric guitar and my personal computer with all of my projects. My personal computer is my work station. Really, it is my work station. I work in my house on my projects all day. There are many changes in a very short time in all aspects of my life. Personally, spiritually, musically, and in work it’s a new age. But really, I’m very excited about the idea starting from zero with a total change. It’s great. This is the feeling.

I remember I knew a guitar player from Instagram, Bruce Foreman. He’s a jazz player and for me is very incredible how he plays alone. When I listen to him teach a master class, I understand him and his musical language. And he taught me to play alone, to be able to send a real idea, a message and emotional sensation. Not just play music but really say something. He is a great motivation. I want to be able to do this with my instrument.

In this moment, I think travel is the real purpose. I feel in this moment now, my spiritual sensation is as a nomad. This is an historic moment in the world. When my dad was my age now, they have a house, a job and stability. I think our moment is very different for the world situation. In the past, it was difficult for me to travel. In Venezuela I wanted to stay. In Colombia I wanted to stay, but now I am different. I used to not know what was going to happen and it was stressful. Now, I don’t, but it’s OK.

I want to be comfortable. I want to be in a house that I like. I want to be safe. I want my children to do whatever they like, but I know that happiness is not about only money. It’s a part of it of course, but I’m happy when I know the meaning of the life. For example, one night we play in the subway and James says, “I have to go to the bathroom. I can’t play.” I say, “No, James, not now.” He says, “I need to go right now.” So we go outside to look for a place in the rain, and we find this place with a skinhead man, so we go. We see this place is an open mic and there were many people. The guy says, “Oh, do you play tonight?” And we say, “Yes, sure,” We have a beer and listen to the poetry and then we play. Everyone was really surprised. It was a magic and fantastic night that we didn’t expect. So, we have to enjoy the life. The subway helps us know special people and things. This is how we met you. I’m learning to trust my lucky life.

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